Courtship (2)

The concept of courtship is designed for protection. Last time we talked about protecting a young person from making emotional decisions contrary to godly wisdom. Another purpose is the protection from emotional pain. Two people start dating and one sees potential in a lasting relationship, while the other doesn’t. Unless something changes, the result of this will often be hurt and a feeling of rejection. I have heard people say, “That’s just part of life. You just get over it.” I have also seen a number of these get over their marriage with the same thinking.
The working out of courtship is as diverse as the will of God. I will share how my oldest children met and married their spouses. All have happy, secure marriages today.
My oldest son Andrew was 27 and a youth pastor in Ontario. He felt God wanted him to marry but knew of no prospects. The summer of 1996 I spoke at a Christian camp and took my family with me for the week. We were impressed with Angela, one of the counselors, especially with her loving care of Paul, our special needs son. When we got home I told Andrew, “We found you a wife.” “Oh, thanks,” he answered sarcastically. However, in the next months he found out more about her and learned she was working that year at a Word of Life Camp just north of him. This was part of the 4 year program at the Bible school. He called me one day and asked if I would talk with her supervising professor during our next visit to the school. When I did, the professor answered, among other things, “I would be proud to have her as my daughter-in-law.” After checking with two or three others who knew her, Andrew called her and invited her out for dinner. They did two or three other things together and then Andrew contacted her parents to receive permission to court her. He invited her to visit our family at Christmas and she fit in like she was a part of us already. He also visited her parents. In the spring, Andrew wrote her parents again, stating that he would call in a week asking permission to marry their daughter. As soon as the letter arrived, her mother called gladly granting that permission. They were married 6 months later, just a year after we met her at camp.
Peter and Stephanie both worked in the graphics arts department of a Christian ministry that provided room, board, and a small salary. Though they didn’t date, their compatibility told both of them God seemed to be in their desires of future marriage. Her father advised Peter to resign that ministry to establish himself financially. He did this, moving to Texas, far from her. When the business prospered, he received raises until he was able to support a wife and family.
(more next time)