The ‘Self-Esteem’ Kick
Perhaps, thankfully, the cult of ‘self-esteem’ is dying out. Basically self-esteem is feeling good about myself. But it doesn’t stop there. Schools have set goals of building the self-esteem of their students and have sought to instill in them the idea that they are practically divine. One combined 5th-6th grade class where I subbed began every day reciting this: “I am wonderful; I am important; I am worthwhile; I make a difference; I am smart; I care about myself; I smile a lot; I am brave; I am successful; I am confident; I am strong inside; I can say No; I keep trying; I am a precious worthwhile mistake-making person.” After reciting this 180 times in a year, these children become loving achievers and helpers of the other marvels in the classroom, right? No, not right. This is humanism, the idea we should fan the flame of greatness in a child by lavishing them with praise so that they become praise junkies who can’t do anything unless someone recognizes it.
In light of this, an article in the news out of England caught my attention. Reviewing the book Nurtureshock, it said, “At its heart is one of the most fundamental questions of our time: why, after decades of caring, progressive parenting and education, do we have so many social problems with children from all backgrounds? The authors argue that the touchy-feely brand of modern parenting, where parents are too weak to criticise and discipline, will actually damage our children in the long term. One of the biggest failures has been our belief in the importance of instilling high self-esteem at all costs. We praise our children constantly and indiscriminately. . . . There is no evidence, say the authors, to show that high self-esteem has any effect on improving academic performance, or reducing anti-social behaviour.” Christians who understand the Bible respond, ”Well duh! It took you 40 years to discover that?” (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1215937)
What is a Biblical view our children should have of themselves? First, we are made in the image of God, unique in all of God’s creation. Second, David said, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works;. . . in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.” You and I are the result of God’s personal unique plan from the foundation of the world. We are indeed special, one of a kind! Third, we were born with a sin nature and our natural disposition is to run our own lives and rebel against God and other authority. Because of this we are at enmity with God and under his condemnation. This is the missing element of self-esteem which assumes we are good and when that goodness is fanned, we will reject all badness. The Bible says we won’t, we can’t. We must humble ourselves before the Lord, and seek His mercy and forgiveness through the atoning work of Christ.