Roles in Marriage- the Husband
If any of you men read the article on the role of women in marriage, you might have responded, “That’s right, she’s supposed to help me, not try to run the show.” Before you judge your wife for her imperfections, consider what the Scripture says is the duty of a husband. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself . . . Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself.” (Eph. 5:25-28, 33). Read it again: her command is simply to submit to you and honor you. Your command is to love her in the same way Christ loves the church! Is not this much more demanding? Indeed, it is impossible without the grace of God!
How did Christ love the church? He gave Himself for her. He now washes her in the Word. He will present her spotless. Giving ourselves will mean giving up my personal time to lighten her load. Extra money might be spent on what would delight her instead of just me. It will mean taking care of the baby’s ‘regulars’ is our business, not just hers. In the same way Christ broods over the church, knowing her strengths and weaknesses (1 Peter 3:7), admonishing, praying for, shepherding His bride, so must we do.
What is His goal? He does this to sanctify and cleanse His bride by His Word. When a wife asserts her will, we are to follow this example. We are to gently cleanse our wives’ unbiblical ideas by speaking the truth in love.
One day He will present his bride to Himself spotless. We take care of ourselves to get the best, Paul says. In the same way we ought to do all we can to work with Christ in making our wives a beautiful person in His sight and in the sight of others. Think of one day presenting your wife to Christ as a gift. She was His gift to you. You accepted His grace; you learned and applied and taught His Word to her; you worked together with Christ to make her all Christ intended her to be. At that time she will be a trophy of God’s grace, power, and love, His workmanship, in part, through you.
It is a daunting task. It will require you to get alone each morning to pray for her when you pray for yourself. It will require alertness to her moods, cycles, words, and actions so as to respond correctly. Her beauty depends on you.