Puberty

Even the title of this article got your attention, didn’t it? Maturing is a delicate subject to discuss, yet so important. My mother was actually more open in talking with me about reproduction than my father was. Neither gave me a Biblical perspective. I got the message from dad it wasn’t something you talk about. So I kept to myself these embarrassing changes and talked with no one.
As parents we know that the same hormones that produce physical changes also drastically affect the brain. Suddenly subjects that were before ‘dirty’ or shocking or, at least, uninteresting become intriguing. Along with these changes, Christian young people face feelings of guilt for entertaining such thoughts. Of course, maturing is all part of growing up; it is “common to man,” and part of God’s plan for them as it was for us.
The first place pubescent youths should be able to go to openly discuss these changes is to their parents. They must know it’s OK to talk about them with us and that we won’t be shocked or disappointed with them. However, most will not do it. This means we will probably need to initiate the subject.
My parents handled the subject the best they knew how. But I determined to improve and honor Christ by centering on His design principle. Neither did I want my children to learn these things from peers or from movies or magazines that would distort God’s pure plan.
My boys matured at very different rates. We talked about being modest, respectful around ladies, keeping hands off, things like that from their childhood. I tried to be sensitive to comments they made that indicated it was time for more specific information. With each one I took time alone to explain God’s design in marriage and the importance of staying pure for God and for their future mates. I encouraged them anytime to ask me questions they had. They rarely did. But I brought up the subject from time to time and found their struggles were as real as my own had been. Together we worked through them. I was also able to share the powerful testimony that Ruby and I waited for intimacy until after marriage. To my knowledge all my five married children did the same. It is a requirement for starting marriage without damage.
These increasingly strong drives come to young people years before they are ready in other ways for marriage. God wants them to trust Him to wait for the right time for their fulfillment. He wants to prove to them that 1 Cor. 10:13 really works. He wants to give them an opportunity to practice Luke 9:23- “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” But keeping them under control is a great challenge and it is wonderful when their dad and mom are there to help them succeed.

What Would Your Child Choose?

What do you think he would ask for? God did that very thing with Solomon. He chose well; he chose a wise and understanding heart (1 Kings 3:9). But this was no accident. David had prepared his son well for the possibility of such a time.
David was getting old. God had made it clear that Solomon would be king (1 Chron. 22:9). God also said he was to build the Temple. David had learned the wisdom of ruling the kingdom through conflicts, his ten years of training his motley crew while running from Saul, and his years as soldier and king. How could he expect Solomon, who never saw a battle and whose very name meant peace, to have the wisdom to rule well? Answer: David prepared him in at least four ways:

1) He himself taught Solomon wisdom
The book of Proverbs is largely the instruction Solomon received from David and passed on to his son. Wisdom alone appears 54 times in the book. For example, “For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live. Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth. Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee. Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. (1 Chron. 4:3-7)

2) He publicly admonished him to be wise. He held him accountable to others
“Only the LORD give thee wisdom and understanding, and give thee charge concerning Israel, that thou mayest keep the law of the LORD thy God.” “And thou, Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the LORD searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts.” (1 Chron. 22:12; 28:9)

3) He provided him with wise counselors
“Also Jonathan David’s uncle was a counsellor, a wise man, and a scribe.” (1Chron. 27:32) No doubt David encouraged his counselors to continue after he died, to share with Solomon their wisdom. The very fact that David surrounded himself with wise counselors set an example for Solomon to follow.

4) He prayed publicly for him.
“And give unto Solomon my son a perfect heart, to keep thy commandments, thy testimonies, and thy statutes, and to do all these things, and to build the palace, for the which I have made provision.” (29:19) What a delight it is when fathers ask prayer for their sons and daughters to increase in wisdom.
Will your children chose wisdom as they become more independent? Don’t leave it to chance; follow this example of David.

Music 01- Music out of Balance

The age of electronics has resulted in most, if not all, of us having grown up in a culture saturated with music of all kinds. Most of us are more accustomed to electronically reproduced versions of the music we listen too. There is an abundance in both the variety and number of music groups, genre, styles and motives available for one to listen too all day and all night if one chooses. Gone are the days when if you wanted to listen to music you had to go to a concert, a church service, or listen to your family and/or your friends sing around the piano or strike up a tune acapella. Most of us enjoy this availability of music. But we must be careful that we do not allow ourselves to be brought under its power.
Remember what the Apostle Paul said, “All things are lawful unto me but all things are not expedient (helpful): all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.” A few chapters latter he repeats the first part, but changes the second to say, “all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.” 1 Cor. 6:12, and 10:23. As Christians we must be cautious in all areas, but especially in music, that we listen to and sing music that – 1. Is helpful to our spiritual growth. 2. Does not dominate or addict us to it. 3. Edifies or builds us up.
Do not make the mistake of assuming that music is not capable of being a serious hindrance to your spiritual well-being. Do not make the mistake in thinking the music you listen to is morally neutral, and that as long as the words aren’t immoral its not bad for you to listen to, or sing, and that the church should incorporate it into the services. Do not make the mistake in assuming all, or even some, recording artists have pure motives. Do not assume that those who do seem to have pure motives are pleasing the Lord with their style of music. Misleading information abounds as to the nature of godly music. Much division in Christian circles and once unified churches has resulted from this misinformation and carelessness.
Logic should tell us that not all music is good for us. First, because even the most carnal of us would draw a line somewhere as to what is good or bad music. Second, since man is fallen and tends to corrupt all that is good, it is logical that man has corrupted music and that he is likely to both produce evil music and to find pleasure in evil music. Third, because there is a real devil, and a spiritual war is raging, it is logical that the devil, a musician in his own right (Ezek. 28:13), would skillfully and subtly use music to accomplish his purposes.
There was a time, not too long ago, when music was not so corrupted as it is today. Those born before or near the early 1950s have seen first hand the devolution of music. Sadly, many of that generation were the leaders in corrupting music along with all the other arts. My plea is that you will read prayerfully these articles on music.

-Jerry Hanson

Releasing our Grip

OK, I had so many good laughs with the last picture (baby duck taped to the wall) that I decided to include this one too (picture of two boys in a pet travel cage). Underneath it says, “Parenting- Who says it has to be difficult?” We parents have all felt like doing this from time to time, haven’t we? As my dad got home from work one evening, my mother met him with, “Just give me the car. I need to get away from the kids for a little.” We were all dumbfounded why she was upset with us!
The picture shows another problem of parenting as well. Some parents agreed such a tactic isn’t so bad for this would keep the children from harm. They so love them that they want to protect them from making any bad choices. Thus, they make all their decisions for them. Sadly, in the long run, this isn’t loving at all. Children need to be free to make decisions and they need to learn how to make them wisely. An excellent kindergarten teacher I met a few years ago had this policy: teach the children how to make decisions by giving them a choice of several (all safe ones) and letting them live with their choice. As children grow, they should be given more freedom to choose, based on their maturity, and the wisdom they have shown in past decisions. This was one of my hardest battles as a parent. On the one hand I wanted my children to become independent, but on the other hand, I didn’t want them to suffer the consequences of foolishness.
When Athaliah usurped the throne of Israel, Jehoiada’s wife hid young Joash for six years. When he became king at age 8, he was too young to rule so Jehoiada did it for him. But, it seems Jehoiada never taught Joash how, for, after his stepfather died, Joash caved in to peer pressure and turned from the Lord.
The hardest part of this is to free our children when we know they will make wrong decisions. Yet God didn’t even restrain Adam and Eve from ruining the world by sin. Another lesson here: when they make foolish choices, let them live with the consequences without bailing them out! These can be some of their most effective teachers. “I’m sorry, but you won’t be able to go with us because you chose to spend your money on candy.”
The key, of course, is doing all we can to mold them into Christlikeness early! Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. But, like our heavenly Father, we must increasingly free them to make their own choices, even bad ones. God never intended our children to be our puppets, or to fulfill our own dreams. They are individuals who will account to God for their own lives. And often, the more we give them appropriate freedom without putting them in danger, the stronger will be our bond with them.

Lighten Up!

I was recently talking with a man who described his childhood as anything but happy. Abuse, drunkenness, fighting have become too often the norm in our day. In contrast, my childhood is filled with wonderful, happy memories. Of course we had our disagreements, and there is nothing wrong with this as long as they are handled in a kind and fair way.
My grandmother lived with us from the time I was about four until her death long after I was married. She had a wonderful sense of humor and added to the joyful atmosphere of our home. I was thinking of this recently when watching family home movies of her blowing horns and dancing around to celebrate the arrival of the New Year.
But her childhood was not so happy. From her vantage point, her father was austere and, on more than one occasion, he singled her out for greater punishment than her siblings. As she told me these stories, I could feel the pain, even 80 years later! She said their family would be singing and laughing together; then her mother would say, “Your father is coming.” That meant the laughter and play were over and it wasn’t to be heard once their father walked through the door.
This is sad, isn’t it? Too often, fathers think their job is to be the stern parent and his wife the gentle one. Where is that in Scripture? Consider these verses: “Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the LORD.” (Psalm 128:1-4) The Hebrew word for ‘blessed’, as with the Greek word used in the Beatitudes, conveys the idea of happiness because of a right relationship with God and others. This blessed man sounds like he has a happy home, wouldn’t you agree?
A wise sage once said to me, “Don’t take life too seriously.” Fathers can falsely conclude it is disrespect if they are the brunt of a joke. My sister and I often played duets on the piano and, one evening, the music was getting louder and faster. Finally, our dad had enough and yelled, “Get away from that pajama!” We all burst into laughter, and so did he. We still reminded him of this slip 40 years later! Dad had 3X5 cards in his pocket and often, at the supper table, he would pull them out to tell us the latest joke he had heard. His ability to laugh, even at himself, was an integral part of our happy home and we respected him for it. So, parents, especially dads, let’s lighten up! God meant life to be enjoyed! (Psalm 34:12)