Grandparents

Posted by Jim on Jul 26, 2009
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Though we don’t have many grandparents in our church, given enough time, you all will be. Moreover, most of your children have grandparents now who influence them one way or another.
Too often grandparents say, “It’s our kids’ job to train their children; it’s our job to spoil them.” From this view came the saying, “God has no grandchildren.” Though this is true, it implies grandparents have no responsibility toward their children’s children. God says otherwise.
What does the Bible say about the influence of grandparents? Adam had an influence on generations until Noah. Though Jacob and Esau were only 15 when Abraham died, Isaac spent his latter years with Jacob’s family long after Joseph was sold into slavery. We are told, “And Joseph saw Ephraim’s children of the third generation: the children also of Machir the son of Manasseh were brought up upon Joseph’s knees.” (Genesis 50:23)
In the New Testament we are given the example of Timothy. Paul said, “When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.” (2 Timothy 1:5) Though we wonder how Eunice married a Gentile unbeliever, we see here that a mother and grandmother laid the foundation in Timothy’s life that led to his greatness. (Phil. 2:20, 22)
What does the Bible say about the responsibility of grandparents? The phrase “children’s children” appears 10 times in Scripture. It speaks of both passing on blessing and cursing. Why is it true that “Children’s children are the crown of old men”? (Prov 17:6) It is because they reward a faithful father as he sees his instruction passed on to another generation.  In Proverbs 13:22 we are told, “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children.” The greatest inheritance we can leave are the true riches of example, testimony, and instruction.
God wants us to think beyond our generation or even that of our children. When Hezekiah learned that his own failure would lead to defeat and disgrace for his grandchildren, his selfish reply was, “Good is the word of the LORD which thou hast spoken. He said moreover, For there shall be peace and truth in my days.” (Is. 39:8) In contrast, we are to so live that we may pass on God’s blessing beyond our own children. “But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children’s children.” Ps 103:17
Finally, give time for your parents to be with their grandchildren. You may not agree with everything they say or do, but you are demonstrating honor to your parents and letting them enjoy their ‘crown.’ Since “the glory of children are their fathers,” don’t worry about them ‘unteaching’ your values. Remember, how you treat your parents will model how they may well treat you someday.

Music in the Home

Posted by Jim on Jul 19, 2009
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In the introduction to his fascinating two tape series called Music and the Mind, Michael Ballam shares the story of a boy who was only trouble at school. Then he went home with a friend whose large family spent many evenings ‘jamming’ together on their instruments. The delinquent took up the violin and his behavior radically altered.
If I had it to do over again, I would have had all my children learn to play an instrument early in life and would have spent more time enjoying music together.
Music is called the universal language. Good music is orderly and expresses the design of the Creator. This is no doubt the main reason why children, subjected to orderly music from infancy or before consistently outscore others in math skills. Music itself has a message beyond the words, a message of despair or of hope, of confusion or of order. Immerse your children in good, orderly music.
Learning to play an instrument is also part of brain development. The motor part of the brain is in a different location from the artistic part. Playing an instrument as a child connects these two and actually increases intelligence. Both Jefferson and Einstein kept a violin nearby to play when their creative thoughts lagged.
Of course, the greatest expression of music is that which praises the Lord in both music and words. Scripture contains an entire book of songs and music is central many other places. (see 2 Chronicles 20 for an example) Notice in 2 Chronicles how music increased in value when the king of Judah was righteous, and disappeared when he was wicked. The New Testament tells us to speak “to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.” (Eph. 5:19) Hymnbooks are inexpensive and contain a wealth of songs that praise and thank God, teach sound doctrine, and share God-honoring testimony.
Do you sing together as a family? If your excuse is that you can’t carry a tune, don’t worry about that. You don’t need recording quality to praise the Lord and teach your children the value of good music. In fact, it isn’t to be a performance but a praise, so “make a joyful noise unto the Lord all ye lands.” (Psalm 100:1)
Finally, should a father forbid worldly music in his home if his children like it? I never faced that since I introduced my children to good music from birth and played good recordings often. However, if you do, remember that music gives a message and sets a mood. I am responsible for my home environment and would not want anything clearly dishonoring to the Lord to be present.

Family ‘Devotions’ -2

Posted by Jim on Jul 12, 2009
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Last time, we discussed some general guidelines for a family Bible time. After reading it, some might ask, “I still don’t know just how to carry it out.” That is the subject of this article.
At what age is the best time to start reading the Bible to your children? Isaiah 28:9 says it should be underway by the time children are weaned. Some have found profit in a father reading the Bible to his children before they are born! After all, children start hearing two months before birth.
When our children were younger, we used Keys for Kids (CBH Ministries), Bible storybooks, books of devotions for children, visualized stories, and the like. One of the best things you can do is to just read a verse from the Bible and explain it in simple terms he or she understands. Focus on a book at a time but be flexible if a particular need arises. The goal is to teach them to love the Bible and find spiritual food in it.
When our children were old enough, our best Bible time was something we called ‘Wisdom searches.’ We each had a notebook and pen and someone was assigned the job of being sure these were ready each morning. Then we read through Proverbs, sometimes a chapter a day, but more often a part of a chapter. We had a focus subject to look for like honesty, diligence, or slothfulness. Each child read a verse and then shared how they thought the verse dealt with our subject, if it did. We set a time limit, for our goal was not to get through so much material but to gain wisdom from God’s Word.
This could also be done looking for the major themes of Bible. For example, read John and share how each story or discourse guided readers to understand and believe the Gospel. This makes a great focus for children who have not yet received the Savior. Again, begin and end the time with prayer. Keep a written record of your prayer targets so everyone can see how God shows “Himself to be strong in the behalf off them whose hearts are perfect toward Him.” (2 Chron. 16:9)
In addition to the above, for several years during breakfast, I read biographies of great Christians to the family. This meant I was late in eating but it often stimulated discussions about what the person faced and how they dealt with trials. It also focused the conversation on spiritual things during that meal.
It would be profitable for those parents who are having successful Bible times with their children to share with younger or struggling parents what they do that is working. Let’s help each other build God’s Word into our families.

Family ‘Devotions’ -1

Posted by Jim on Jul 05, 2009
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The word ‘devotions’ is in quotes because it appears just one time in the Bible and that connected with idol worship! (Acts 17:23) But we all know the term and, if you have children, have probably either struggled with it, or given up.
It is vitally important for parents to plan a time in the Bible with their children every day. It is like private prayer. We can say we will ‘pray without ceasing’ throughout the day, but if we don’t have a time each day to get started, that probably won’t happen. So Family Bible time opens up teachable moments throughout the day.
The first struggle we face is knowing when to do it. Our most successful times came just before or after a meal. We were together and that is the time to focus the family on the Lord through Scripture and prayer.
Next we wonder what to do during that time. This is especially difficult when the children are a variety of ages. More on this next time. Here are some ideas we have found profitable in the past.
1) Plan. Don’t gather everyone and then say, “Well, what should we read today?” If you know the needs of your family, you will want to focus on Scripture that deals with those needs. You direct the time.
2) Read the Bible. If you use a Bible storybook, be sure to read at least a portion of the story in the Bible. That alone is our authority. Sometimes the stories add details that aren’t in the Bible or leave out important facts. The narrative portions of the Bible are especially delightful to the younger ones. Let each one who is able read a verse. This lets everyone participate even if he doesn’t yet have profound thoughts to share.
3) Interact. Ask questions appropriate to the age of each child. Have visuals when possible for the younger ones. Expect each child to respect his peers by giving him attention when he is speaking.
4) Be brief. Better is it to wish the time were longer than to be bored and lose their attention while you wax on, explaining deep spiritual treasures.
5) Sing together. The old hymns are rich in doctrine and make a great study in themselves.
6) Close in family prayer. Teach your children to pray. Keep a notebook of specific prayer requests and leave a space to write the answer in red when God gives it. This is a wonderful faith encourager!
7) Be realistic. I really liked the picture of the family, sitting around the fireplace, each with Bible in hand, fully attentive and hungry to learn from Father. However, I never was able to attain that ideal. Remember, you are sowing in their lives and that is work. The reward comes when you see them going on for God as adults, and having ‘family devotions’ with your grandchildren.