The ‘Gamble’ of Children

Posted by Jim on Apr 26, 2009
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Before you’re turned off by the title of this article, hear me out. From a purely human perspective, children are indeed a gamble. Though initially children bring joy to a couple, this product of intimacy soon becomes its rival. No longer can a couple center uninterrupted time on each other. About the time they try, baby demands attention. That innocent little child has quickly destroyed the good thing you had going. In all this God is building into a Christian couple meekness, a servant spirit, and lots of flexibility.
Children not only have the power to change our plans, they also have the potential for enlarging our outreach and influence in future years, or destroying it. In 1 Tim. 3:4 we read that a pastor must be, “One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity.” A few verses later, we read, “Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.” (3:12) This is true in a practical way of all spiritual leaders for it is based on this logic: For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God? (3:5) Thus, a godly man like Samuel encouraged rebellion against God by having sons who were unfit for leadership. Thus also, Philip enlarged his later ministry through his godly daughters (Acts 21:8-9). Obedient, respectful children declare to those watching, “The Bible way works!” Disobedient, rebellious children say the opposite.
But children are not a gamble in the casino sense of gambling. They are a gamble in the farming sense. A farmer spends money on equipment, seed, fertilizer, pesticide, and lots of time with the hope of making a profit from his crops. But he does so according to the established law of sowing and reaping. He will do his part of working the soil and planting the seed. Then a wise farmer will trust God to do what only He can do, that is, to give the rain and sunshine necessary for the harvest.
Children are viewed as God’s blessing in Scripture. (Psalm 127:3-6) They are his heritage and a trust to us parents. We are in charge of doing all we can to take these rough sticks and make them into sharp arrows for His use. This is a daunting task and not one of us is qualified to do it until it is done. Then it is too late! That’s the bad news. The good news is that we have a handbook on parenting called the Bible. We need to base our parenting decisions on its wisdom, and on the way God parents us. Look for that as you read Scripture. And don’t forget to pray daily for them, that God would keep them from evil and that they would guard their hearts against the enticements around them.

A Father’s Hands

Posted by Jim on Apr 19, 2009
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Too often children view their father’s hands as weapons to inflict pain when they do wrong. Though it is necessary to discipline children from time to time, Christian fathers should never be ‘slappers.’ Indeed, our hands should primarily be to them instruments of good.
Recently I heard a pastor share a practice he and his wife did for their children during all their growing up years. Each night he would place his hands on each child’s head and pray a blessing on them.
My first reaction was that, though good, it seemed excessive. Even a good thing when done too often can become meaningless. However, the testimonies he shared said otherwise. On one occasion when he had to be gone, his 12 year-old daughter asked how many nights he would be away. He said he would be gone 24. “Then you have to give me 24 blessings,” she said. Obviously this was more than a ritual to her. Other children shared that this practice gave them a sense of security, a sense of the Lord’s presence in their lives, a sense of belonging and approval, and a motivation for making right choices.
As I compared this with Scripture, I was reminded of the power of a parental blessing, especially from a father. Think how hard Rebekah worked to get her husband to bless her favorite son. Jacob blessed his grandsons and said things that were prophetic. In fact, the Psalmist indicates that blessing each other was a normal practice. (Psalm 129:8) Now read this story from the life of Christ. “And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, (lit. great indignation. He was upset with them!) and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein. And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.” (Mark 10:13-16)
We have a perfect example to follow so start doing this now, today. First, find a Scripture blessing that is appropriate for your child. Numbers 6:24-26 is a good start. In the New Testament, you will find many benediction blessings in the epistles. (Romans 15:4-6, 13; 16:25-27, etc.) Then personalize it. “The Lord bless and keep you, Johnny. The Lord make his face shine upon you, Susey, and be gracious unto you, etc.” Then go to your child and tell him that you would like to pray God’s blessing upon him. Place your hands on his head, and pray this blessing. Do this as a public (to him) declaration that you are trusting God to bless him in answer to your prayer. Do it often. Then start watching for His answer.

The First Priority of Parenting!

Posted by Jim on Apr 12, 2009
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Parenting is a daunting task! How encouraging it is to know that God has all the answers and He wants to enable us to succeed! Of course, the number one priority of every believer is to maintain and nurture his or her relationship with the Lord. You do have a daily time with the Lord in His Word and prayer, don’t you? Nothing can be more important and, without this, what is shared below is powerless and pointless.
Question: what is your number one priority as a parent? Surprisingly, it is to be right as a mate. It has been said, “The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” The same can be said of a mother. Parenting is not your number one responsibility in the family unit. Before Paul gave counsel concerning parenting in Ephesians 6, he wrote, “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33) Practically, what does this mean?
It means keeping short accounts with your mate. This includes being humble and admitting when you’re wrong, something that is especially hard for men to do.
It means practicing 1 Corinthians 13 toward him/her. Among other things, this includes not keeping a list of your mate’s sins or failures (the meaning of “thinketh no evil”).
It means giving him/her quality time each day. One couple set a policy that, when Dad got home from work, mother got the first 15 minutes with him. That kept the kids getting to Dad first and encouraging him to side with them in a disagreement with their mother. Dad, you may be tired of problems from work and want to just relax, but that may not be God’s plan for your evening.
It means continuing to express affection with words and deeds long after the marriage ceremony. Missed birthdays and anniversaries should not be found in Christian homes. We promote courtship for young people, but we should practice dating as married people!
It means, when necessary, sacrificing your wishes for their best.
It means other things to you that, hopefully, we will share with others personally.
How would you feel if you learned the Trinity wasn’t getting along? Insecure to say the least! Remember, your small children perceive of God as they view you. You owe it to your children, to your spouse, to yourself, most of all to the Lord to freshen your love for that special person who chose you as their lifelong mate!

A Marriage Prayer

Posted by Jim on Apr 05, 2009
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The first year we were married, over 40 years ago now, we heard this prayer every week on a Christian radio station. It so expressed God’s will for a home that I prayed it at each of the weddings of my children, and a number of other weddings as well.
O God of love, Thou hast established marriage for the welfare and happiness of mankind.  Thine was the plan and only with Thee can we work it out with joy.  Thou hast said, “It is not good for man to be alone.  I will make a help meet for him.” Now our joys are doubled since the happiness of one is the happiness of the other.  Our burdens now are halved when we share them- we divide the load. 

Bless this husband.  Bless him as provider of nourishment and clothing. Sustain him in all the pressures of his labors for bread.  May his strength be her protection, his character be her pride, and may he so live that she will find in him the haven for which the heart of woman truly longs. 

Bless this loving wife.  Give her tenderness that will make her great, a deep sense of understanding and a great faith in Thee.  Give her that inner beauty of soul that never fades, that eternal youth that is found in holding fast the things that never age. 
Teach them that marriage is not living merely for each other; it is two joining hands to serve Thee.  Give them a great spiritual purpose in life.  May they seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and the other things shall be added unto them. 
May they not expect of each other the perfection that belongs alone to Thee. May they minimize each other’s weaknesses, be swift to praise and magnify each other’s strengths, and see each other through a lover’s kind and patient eyes. 

Now make such assignments to them in Thy will as will develop their characters as they walk together.  Give them enough tears to keep them tender, enough hurts to keep them humane, enough failure to keep their hands clenched tightly in Thine, and enough success to encourage them in their walk with Thee. 
May they never take each other’s love for granted, but always experience that breathless wonder that exclaims, “Out of all this world you have chosen me.” 

When life is done, may they be found then as now, hand in hand, still thanking God for each other.  May they serve Thee happily, faithfully, together, until at last one shall lay the other into the arms of God. 
This we ask through Jesus Christ, great lover of our souls. Amen. (Louis H. Evans)
As I read it now, it strikes me as being politically incorrect. To have a godly home, we are all working against the world around us. This only emphasizes that we are on the right track! May the spirit of this prayer and its challenge give us the resolve to follow God’s ways in everything, including our marriages.