Family Finances 1

One poll listed the five major causes of marriage breakup as these: money, poor communication, lack of commitment, change in priorities, and infidelity. Most marriage polls list money as a top cause of problems. This is not surprising. About 43% of American families, like the government itself, spend more than they earn each year. This continues to be true, in spite of financially tough times. An average household carries $8,000 in credit card debt. As a result, personal bankruptcies have doubled in the past decade. In 2003, the total debt for American consumers was $2 trillion, an average of $18,654 per household, not including mortgage debt (another $10 trillion). This was a 41% increase in five years but has doubled since then. 
Debt starts in college and never ends. In the 2008-09 academic year student loans grew about 25% over the previous year, to $75.1 billion. Today, two-thirds of college students borrow to pay for college, and their average debt load is $23,186 by the time they graduate, according to an analysis of the government’s National Postsecondary Student Aid Study. The loans were based on the expectation that an education would provide a good paying job and the loan could be paid back. With unemployment at 10% or more, increasingly this is not happening.
In contrast to the ‘norm’, God’s Word warns, “The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.” (Prov. 22:7) Paul writes, “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another.” (Rom. 13:8) Our family has lived debt-free for 29 years now and can testify this brings with it great peace. First, we don’t have to worry that we can’t make payments and something will be repossessed. Second, the absence of interest payments has allowed us to invest more into the Lord’s work. Laying up treasures in heaven is the greatest investment. Third, this conviction has brought us to prayer more than anything else. If God didn’t provide the money for something we wanted and were praying about, we were confident it wasn’t His will.  Our lives are marked with many specific ways God has provided as we determined not to go into debt to meet a need.
So how do you get started living debt-free? I am confident that the first and most important step in living debt-free is to fight covetousness and learn contentment. Paul said, “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” (Phil. 4:11) The pizzazz of the world is appealing, and the need to show others we are successful will inevitably drive one to debt. God has promised to supply all our needs so erase that one from your worry list. God also often gives us ‘extras’ when we wait patiently. But He warns us not to set our heart on any of these things. Instead, “Set your affection on things above.” (Col. 3:2) After all, things cannot satisfy, and will soon pass away.

TV

TV

A recent study by the University of Michigan revealed startling increases in the influence of television on children. Consider these statistics: TV viewing among kids is at an eight-year high. On average, children ages 2-5 spend 32 hours a week in front of a TV watching television, DVDs, DVR and videos, and using a game console. Kids ages 6-11 spend about 28 hours a week in front of the TV. The vast majority of this viewing (97%) is of live TV. 68% of 8 to 18-year-olds have a TV in their bedroom; 54% have a DVD/VCR player, 37% have cable/satellite TV, and 20% have premium channels. In 63% of households, the TV is “usually” on during meals. In 53% of households of 7th- to 12th-graders, there are no rules about TV watching. In 51% of households, the TV is on “most” of the time. Kids with a TV in their bedroom spend an average of almost 1.5 hours more per day watching TV than kids without a TV in the bedroom. Many parents encourage their toddlers to watch television. It is their major source of free babysitting. ref.
Many other studies have been made. TV is directly related to sleep problems, behavioral problems, and childhood obesity. Some relate it to the rapid rise in ADHD and ADD. It takes away from family time, playing with friends, physical activity and muscle development, mastering skills like music or art, and reading, to name a few. During formative years, the lighted box becomes their best friend and greatest influence. Children are so entertained that some school districts say they cannot keep children’s attention without videos and elaborate, expensive computer equipment.
But the greatest concern for Christian parents must be the content of what is being presented on TV. An average American child will see 2,000 beer commercials a year, and 200,000 violent acts and 16,000 murders on TV by age 18. They are taught that revenge is normal and satisfying. They are taught pride, lust, and covetousness by word and example. Most of the heroes are not heroic to God. Yet parents let their children watch, thinking it is benign. It is not. Even history and documentary programs can and will twist the facts to present an agenda. Programs only get worse as the line of what is acceptable is pushed. Perhaps the most dangerous and subtle lesson on TV is that life without God is fun, satisfying, and successful.
How should a Christian parent handle the influence of the TV? (These are in order from least to most radical.) 1) Limit TV watching, both in time and what is allowed. Children need to be outside, physically active every day. 2) Never let children watch TV unless a parent is there to monitor, censure, or at least interpret what is being presented. 3) Get rid of it as an enemy too strong to control. Do what is necessary so that wickedness is not welcome in your home.

Flying Blind

It was a sunny day in the fall of 2007, a beautiful day to fly. Jim O’Neill, aged 65 who had 18 years of flying experience, had guided the two-seater Cessna aircraft to about 5,500 feet when he noticed that the instruments in the cockpit seemed to be unusually bright, to the point that he really couldn’t see what they read.  Then suddenly things got darker.  As he considered this, he reasoned that it was because of the sun shining through the window.  But the trouble continued. In fact, a few minutes later he declared an emergency.  Soon all those involved knew that there were bigger problems than looking into the sun or the sun shining off instruments.  Jim O’Neill was unable to see anything.  At 5,500 feet he was literally flying blind! (Later he learned that he had a stroke while flying that day.  The part of his brain most affected dealt with sight; he was truly blind.) Those who have done some flying say it’s hard to combat the feeling that you should ignore your instruments and just fly by feeling.  Instructors drill into you to trust your instruments!  But what do you do when you can’t even see your instruments?

Christians enter marriage and parenting without training. In a sense we start out flying blind. Yet, God said His Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. (Psalm 119:105) Do you filter all of your marriage and parenting decisions through the grid of God’s Word? God does not intend us to face family relationships and responsibilities flying blind.

The first course of action was to talk Mr. O’Neill down.  The air traffic controllers tried to tell him what to do next, but it didn’t seem to be working.  Jim O’Neill was simply too scared to try to land that way. That’s when Wing Cdr Paul Gerrard joined the story.  He was a chief flying instructor at a local RAF base. Risking his own life, he flew another plane up to where Jim O’Neill was flying.  Talking to him and staying close, he told him point by point what to do.  After three aborted attempts at landing, Jim O’Neill successfully landed his plane at the Air Force Base.  At last report he was recovering well, while admittedly a bit shocked at the whole ordeal.

Some of us have had lots of experience in both marriage and parenting. Our duty is to pass on what we have learned to the next generation. (Psalm 78:4) To help others 1) we must be willing to be available and to get involved in others’ lives. Americans are taught to live for retirement. God says to live for Him and never give up investing in others. 2) The younger must be willing to ask and receive instruction. If Mr. O’Neill hadn’t followed Gerrard’s instructions, it would have been fatal. Much wisdom and experience is all around you. Take advantage of it!

Puberty

Even the title of this article got your attention, didn’t it? Maturing is a delicate subject to discuss, yet so important. My mother was actually more open in talking with me about reproduction than my father was. Neither gave me a Biblical perspective. I got the message from dad it wasn’t something you talk about. So I kept to myself these embarrassing changes and talked with no one.
As parents we know that the same hormones that produce physical changes also drastically affect the brain. Suddenly subjects that were before ‘dirty’ or shocking or, at least, uninteresting become intriguing. Along with these changes, Christian young people face feelings of guilt for entertaining such thoughts. Of course, maturing is all part of growing up; it is “common to man,” and part of God’s plan for them as it was for us.
The first place pubescent youths should be able to go to openly discuss these changes is to their parents. They must know it’s OK to talk about them with us and that we won’t be shocked or disappointed with them. However, most will not do it. This means we will probably need to initiate the subject.
My parents handled the subject the best they knew how. But I determined to improve and honor Christ by centering on His design principle. Neither did I want my children to learn these things from peers or from movies or magazines that would distort God’s pure plan.
My boys matured at very different rates. We talked about being modest, respectful around ladies, keeping hands off, things like that from their childhood. I tried to be sensitive to comments they made that indicated it was time for more specific information. With each one I took time alone to explain God’s design in marriage and the importance of staying pure for God and for their future mates. I encouraged them anytime to ask me questions they had. They rarely did. But I brought up the subject from time to time and found their struggles were as real as my own had been. Together we worked through them. I was also able to share the powerful testimony that Ruby and I waited for intimacy until after marriage. To my knowledge all my five married children did the same. It is a requirement for starting marriage without damage.
These increasingly strong drives come to young people years before they are ready in other ways for marriage. God wants them to trust Him to wait for the right time for their fulfillment. He wants to prove to them that 1 Cor. 10:13 really works. He wants to give them an opportunity to practice Luke 9:23- “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” But keeping them under control is a great challenge and it is wonderful when their dad and mom are there to help them succeed.

What Would Your Child Choose?

What do you think he would ask for? God did that very thing with Solomon. He chose well; he chose a wise and understanding heart (1 Kings 3:9). But this was no accident. David had prepared his son well for the possibility of such a time.
David was getting old. God had made it clear that Solomon would be king (1 Chron. 22:9). God also said he was to build the Temple. David had learned the wisdom of ruling the kingdom through conflicts, his ten years of training his motley crew while running from Saul, and his years as soldier and king. How could he expect Solomon, who never saw a battle and whose very name meant peace, to have the wisdom to rule well? Answer: David prepared him in at least four ways:

1) He himself taught Solomon wisdom
The book of Proverbs is largely the instruction Solomon received from David and passed on to his son. Wisdom alone appears 54 times in the book. For example, “For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live. Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth. Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee. Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. (1 Chron. 4:3-7)

2) He publicly admonished him to be wise. He held him accountable to others
“Only the LORD give thee wisdom and understanding, and give thee charge concerning Israel, that thou mayest keep the law of the LORD thy God.” “And thou, Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the LORD searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts.” (1 Chron. 22:12; 28:9)

3) He provided him with wise counselors
“Also Jonathan David’s uncle was a counsellor, a wise man, and a scribe.” (1Chron. 27:32) No doubt David encouraged his counselors to continue after he died, to share with Solomon their wisdom. The very fact that David surrounded himself with wise counselors set an example for Solomon to follow.

4) He prayed publicly for him.
“And give unto Solomon my son a perfect heart, to keep thy commandments, thy testimonies, and thy statutes, and to do all these things, and to build the palace, for the which I have made provision.” (29:19) What a delight it is when fathers ask prayer for their sons and daughters to increase in wisdom.
Will your children chose wisdom as they become more independent? Don’t leave it to chance; follow this example of David.

Music 01- Music out of Balance

The age of electronics has resulted in most, if not all, of us having grown up in a culture saturated with music of all kinds. Most of us are more accustomed to electronically reproduced versions of the music we listen too. There is an abundance in both the variety and number of music groups, genre, styles and motives available for one to listen too all day and all night if one chooses. Gone are the days when if you wanted to listen to music you had to go to a concert, a church service, or listen to your family and/or your friends sing around the piano or strike up a tune acapella. Most of us enjoy this availability of music. But we must be careful that we do not allow ourselves to be brought under its power.
Remember what the Apostle Paul said, “All things are lawful unto me but all things are not expedient (helpful): all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.” A few chapters latter he repeats the first part, but changes the second to say, “all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.” 1 Cor. 6:12, and 10:23. As Christians we must be cautious in all areas, but especially in music, that we listen to and sing music that – 1. Is helpful to our spiritual growth. 2. Does not dominate or addict us to it. 3. Edifies or builds us up.
Do not make the mistake of assuming that music is not capable of being a serious hindrance to your spiritual well-being. Do not make the mistake in thinking the music you listen to is morally neutral, and that as long as the words aren’t immoral its not bad for you to listen to, or sing, and that the church should incorporate it into the services. Do not make the mistake in assuming all, or even some, recording artists have pure motives. Do not assume that those who do seem to have pure motives are pleasing the Lord with their style of music. Misleading information abounds as to the nature of godly music. Much division in Christian circles and once unified churches has resulted from this misinformation and carelessness.
Logic should tell us that not all music is good for us. First, because even the most carnal of us would draw a line somewhere as to what is good or bad music. Second, since man is fallen and tends to corrupt all that is good, it is logical that man has corrupted music and that he is likely to both produce evil music and to find pleasure in evil music. Third, because there is a real devil, and a spiritual war is raging, it is logical that the devil, a musician in his own right (Ezek. 28:13), would skillfully and subtly use music to accomplish his purposes.
There was a time, not too long ago, when music was not so corrupted as it is today. Those born before or near the early 1950s have seen first hand the devolution of music. Sadly, many of that generation were the leaders in corrupting music along with all the other arts. My plea is that you will read prayerfully these articles on music.

-Jerry Hanson

Releasing our Grip

OK, I had so many good laughs with the last picture (baby duck taped to the wall) that I decided to include this one too (picture of two boys in a pet travel cage). Underneath it says, “Parenting- Who says it has to be difficult?” We parents have all felt like doing this from time to time, haven’t we? As my dad got home from work one evening, my mother met him with, “Just give me the car. I need to get away from the kids for a little.” We were all dumbfounded why she was upset with us!
The picture shows another problem of parenting as well. Some parents agreed such a tactic isn’t so bad for this would keep the children from harm. They so love them that they want to protect them from making any bad choices. Thus, they make all their decisions for them. Sadly, in the long run, this isn’t loving at all. Children need to be free to make decisions and they need to learn how to make them wisely. An excellent kindergarten teacher I met a few years ago had this policy: teach the children how to make decisions by giving them a choice of several (all safe ones) and letting them live with their choice. As children grow, they should be given more freedom to choose, based on their maturity, and the wisdom they have shown in past decisions. This was one of my hardest battles as a parent. On the one hand I wanted my children to become independent, but on the other hand, I didn’t want them to suffer the consequences of foolishness.
When Athaliah usurped the throne of Israel, Jehoiada’s wife hid young Joash for six years. When he became king at age 8, he was too young to rule so Jehoiada did it for him. But, it seems Jehoiada never taught Joash how, for, after his stepfather died, Joash caved in to peer pressure and turned from the Lord.
The hardest part of this is to free our children when we know they will make wrong decisions. Yet God didn’t even restrain Adam and Eve from ruining the world by sin. Another lesson here: when they make foolish choices, let them live with the consequences without bailing them out! These can be some of their most effective teachers. “I’m sorry, but you won’t be able to go with us because you chose to spend your money on candy.”
The key, of course, is doing all we can to mold them into Christlikeness early! Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. But, like our heavenly Father, we must increasingly free them to make their own choices, even bad ones. God never intended our children to be our puppets, or to fulfill our own dreams. They are individuals who will account to God for their own lives. And often, the more we give them appropriate freedom without putting them in danger, the stronger will be our bond with them.